Grades 4–5
Fantasy/SciFi, NarrativeWritingIn the beginning, the world worshipped the cruel, vicious Ronald McDonald. He had a hypnotic voice that would “brighten up” the day of an innocent human. What he was really doing was feeding them pink slime sandwiched between 500 calorie buns stuffed with high fructose corn syrup.
Over time, the world was fat and stupid, except for a band of rebels known as the vegetarians. They were led by Frankie Spuntino, the master chef. They all rented sections of McDonald’s to sell their food for they all cooked different foods that were of the highest quality. Frankie made linguini. Freddy made fine breads. Reynaldo cooked the finest of seafood, for the vegetarians were pescatarians in reality, and finally, Pierre. Pierre made all sorts of souffle, quiche, croissant, and French desserts. The veggie/pescatarians were all European immigrants, if you couldn’t tell, and had come to find this. They decided to put it right, once and for all.
They bravely strode into the mall, where Ronald was hypnotizing innocent children 50 pounds overweight into eating a truckload of salty fries and Big Macs. Frankie was infuriated. He lassoed Ronald with his linguini and pulled him close. Ronald screamed terror and attempted to break free with his hypnotized followers fighting back. Reynaldo clipped off the notorious hypnohair, and all of the fat men, women, and children, walked off to eat normal food, finding only Pierre’s shop. So he distracted them with croissants while Fred’s Breads clocked Ronald in the head until he apologized for all he did. Then Ronald McDonald took a great big bite out of a multi-grain baguette, and said, “Say! This is good!”
And with those words the dystopian curse had been lifted. This was the origin of good food, happiness.
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