Grades 10–11
Narrative, PoetryWritingSergio M. was born in San Francisco, California and is sixteen years old. He grew up in a Spanish-speaking household with a mom “Ma,” dad “Pa” brother “Kia,” and sister “Mona.” He loves to make art and loves to have a psychedelic mindset when it comes to making imagery out of any art form. He loves to be abstract. His goal is to make any art that comes to mind and get acknowledged for it. He dreams to one day be the best father ever, and plans to keep ambition close.
Prologue:
Born and raised in San Francisco, California, I’ve always grown up preferring to be alone over being in big crowds. I like doing my own thing. I’ve found that when I take a step back from others, it helps me be more creative. I’ve learned to let out emotion through many forms of art, whether it’s graphic design, drawing, writing, or photography. Even my style and the way I dress is a form of art I let out. I’ve always found beauty and heartbreak in everything I lay my eyes on.
“Sunny Smiles” was motivated by the simple fact of always being alone. I notice that loneliness isn’t something that only I go through. There isn’t always someone or something to shed your tears on. At times, all you really have is yourself. This poem was written and inspired by the frown that I constantly cover behind a smile. The single line in Spanish is a small tribute toward my ethnicity. Spanish is my first language.
Everyone has a place in their heart and spine where darkness and grief quietly lie. Just because agony isn’t shown or appreciated doesn’t mean that this place of pain doesn’t exist. My meaning in the words written in this poem go toward being able to overcome pain and heartache, no matter how long it takes or what has to be done to do so. Every day is a new day with a new opportunity to shine. Pain is a form of reality just as much as happiness is. The sun always shines to see another day; the sun always overcomes the gray clouds that make everything gloomy. At times, being on your own turns into something that you want to run away from. You want someone. Sometimes you want to let the border down and other times you want to avoid people and isolate yourself.
Being lonely when I just want to isolate myself from others comes naturally when I’m with a group that doesn’t spark any activity in my head. I’d prefer to go away on my own rather than being the odd one out in a group. At family gatherings, I can be sitting alone, feeling everything but warmth from everyone else. I’m not in a bad mood or anything, but I just get in my thoughts. People invite me out. They aren’t my crowd’ if I showed my face or made an appearance, I’d end up finding reasons to get away. I remember I was at a birthday party one time, and I wasn’t really feeling the vibe, so I just cut a corner and left. I do that–leave to be by myself–frequently when I’m with different people. It’s funny because I feel alone, but then I want to be alone.
When I first wrote this, I put thought into it, but there really wasn’t much consideration to what I was writing. And then I kept reading and reading it over again. I wrote this poem in the beginning of the year, and then I started adding more topics like heartbreak and going through painful emotions. It felt like I accomplished something, nothing big, but on that day, I felt happiness in telling myself I wrote something today. My roof…it’s very small. It’s just a step that I sit on, a very narrow space that’s gated off. There are plants there. There’s gravel covering the roof. There’s always a dog that’s barking out of the window. I can see trees in the distance from big parks. I can see the side of the city that most people don’t see. The sun always comes up and down at the peak. When I go there at night, it’s the same thing, but I stare at the moon and the stars. That is where I wrote this poem, where I took a simple page in my notebook to make something new. I’ve never written my own poetry before. This poem is meant to have its own interpretation for every reader who lays eyes on these words, for everyone having their own challenges in life, for everything that seems difficult in this exact moment. It’ll all be okay.
Sunny Smiles
Days are sunny
Smiles are showing
The sun is out, but the words written are done in the dark
The smiles are out, but the faces showing them all fall apart
Days are sunny
Smiles are showing
Gray clouds make the sun disappear
Smiles turn upside down from the inside out
Days are sunny
Smiles are showing
The sun is glowing
Smiles are pouring
Days are sunny
Smiles are showing
The sun is gone, smiles are snoring
The earth is turning, smiles are hurting
A painful truth slowly showing…
Days turn dark
Smiles are gone
The fact that you’re alone
With a heart that’s never curing
In an endless whirl that keeps on twirling
Along with a life that just keeps on going
Tripping with heart and soul just to get away
Finding a smile, hoping it stays
We all face demons
And we all face angels
Each lying on a shoulder
Hoping for a heart, yet still in danger
A raging mess that can’t be stable
Behind a broken heart that strikes as painful
Lies a beautiful face that strikes as faithful
A gorgeous rose that comes to blossom
Is the reflection in the mirror far across from boredom
A smile in that rain? Yes I know I saw some
Everyone smiles, yet darkness is the outcome
Enamorado de tu sonrisa pero los demonios golpean tus ojos
I can’t make a smile out of my face below those
No matter where the soul goes
I’m afraid
But my happiness is something I can’t betray
In love with love, but nowadays it’s all foul play
That doesn’t matter, tomorrow is a new day
Everything is okay
Let the days be gray
Let the smiles pour
Everything is okay
I’ll fix up to see the sun another day
Once more
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