Bianca Morcho is a graduate of South High School.
When I was in preschool, we learned colors. We learned about vibrant yellow, mellow blue, fierce red, grassy green, passionate purple, chocolatey brown, and fiery orange. When we talked about shades, we talked about the purest white, the murky gray, and finally, the fear-instilling black. After that lesson, I decided that black was my least favorite color. Black was the color of nightmares that you can’t seem to wake up from. Black was the color of fears you couldn’t outgrow. Black was the color of death and sorrow. Black was the color of the darkness of abandonment. Any color was better than black. After I learned my colors, I was so excited to show everyone the colors that I now knew. Water was blue, the trees were green, the stop signs were red, and I was brown.
I was telling my friends about my newfound understanding of colors during lunchtime. I pulled my PB&J sandwich out from my little pink backpack and took a big bite before describing the color of everything in sight. To me, the world was so vibrant and colorful and I was glad to be a part of it. I was proud to be such a beautiful and earthy color. My skin became something precious to me. The friend who sat closest decided it would be fun to play a game where we guessed what something was based on the given color. I thought I was clever when I said brown—no one would be able to guess it. I revealed the answer because, as I predicted, everyone was stumped. When I told them I was brown, a certain curly-headed friend stopped me.
“You’re Black,” she said this with pure conviction, as though it were a fact that everyone knew. I insisted that I was brown, not black; I knew I had not learned my colors incorrectly. In winter, my skin was brown like caramel that you put on top of ice cream that you still eat even when it’s snowing outside. In summer, my skin was darkened by the summer like the lucky penny you found on the scorching sidewalk. You see, I knew my colors well. I knew the difference between black and brown, I hadn’t confused them. But I didn’t tell her this. Instead I told her to apologize for calling me a color that didn’t signify anything good. I would have rather been blue or purple or green. How could I be the color of so many scary things?
“You are Black, and he,” as she pointed to our peach-colored friend, “is White.” It was very obvious to me at this point that my friend had learned her colors incorrectly. How could our friend possibly be White? He looked like neither paper nor the fluffy snow that was coating the ground. If anything, he was pink and then red when he threw his tantrums. Had she learned her colors incorrectly? Or was I missing something? I moved away from her and sat by myself until it was time to go home.
When I was getting picked up from school, I told my mom what my friend had said. My mom looked at me for a long second before laughing lightly.
“You’re right. You are brown, “ she said with teasing in her voice. I did not understand what her laughing meant then, but I do now.
Now that I’m older, I’ve had to come to terms with my Blackness. The color black was no longer something I could afford to hate. My status as a Black person was more important than it was when I was a kid. I walk around and the first thing people see about me is my Blackness. I’ve realized I can’t escape from my Blackness, and most recently I’ve been forced to face it head-on.
George Floyd was murdered by a police officer on May 25, 2020. After his death, it was as if an alarm went off in Minneapolis telling people to take to the streets in protest. Our city looked like that of a warzone for a while. The world was watching our boring little state, and were all looking for some kind of change. Being forced to acknowledge that “Minnesota Nice” is just passive-aggressive racism was one of the biggest epiphanies resulting from the protests. You could see that our city would never be the same. But, along with the protest came a different kind of racism.
Everyone was trying to prove they were not racist. Even celebrities did this, putting on fake tears and raising a fist for Black power while on the inside they were celebrating the fame and publicity they got from “supporting” Black people. Many began using the name of a dead man as a way to gain more fans and support. There were even cases of celebrities taking photos at protests and showing off how much money they had donated to Black Lives Matter. There was money to be made from supporting Black people, and many milked it for all it was worth.
Some people were walking on eggshells around Black people; these people saw us on the street and their first instinct was to prove they weren’t racist or that they supported the “cause.” The fires burning on Lake Street were a cool breeze in comparison to the scorching hot gazes of people on the street. Suddenly going on walks became suffocating and talking to my White neighbors felt patronizing. Sadly, school was not much better. I’d have teachers tell me about how much they love Black people and support the movement (not explicitly, of course). I am still unsure if they were telling me of if they were trying to convince themselves. One of the responses that irritated me was when people would apologize to me and ask if I needed any emotional support.
While George Floyd’s death was tragic, it shouldn’t just be tragic to me because I’m Black. I firmly believe that as a human it should be tragic to see a fellow human die in such a horrible way. It felt like I was expected to give out the mystical “not racist” approval stamp. It was as if we were in court and I somehow became the judge of whether or not the White people I knew were racist or not. Many people were just trying to prevent the destruction of their property, and that meant “appeasing” the Black people.
Looking back, the media was doing their best to ignore the issue of George Floyd’s murder and instead focus on the destruction of cities. It was almost as if they wanted to make it look like Black people and other protestors were in the wrong. From that moment on, I realized that as a Black person I would always be looked at negatively even when I was trying to do good. Standing up for myself was overly aggressive, and saying nothing was suspicious or intimidating. And though I had long acknowledged that Black is not a color—if I had kept seeing my Blackness as the color I abhorred as a child—I knew I would come to hate myself.
I had to find new meanings for Black. Black is now the color of the infamous card of limitless spending. Black is now the color of power and social standing. Black is now the color of a mysterious future I have yet to explore. Black is now the color of the elegant black dresses worn by Michelle Obama. Black is now more than the nightmares I feared of the darkness I still cower away from. I now acknowledge that Black is a mixture of all the colors, and while it sometimes may seem grim, there’s always something good within its depths.
***
This piece was published in Rehumanize Me: A Black Youth Anthology (2022). Rehumanize Me is a collection of poems, essays, and other creative works by 14 young Black authors from Minneapolis, brought to you by 826 MSP.
by Rockelle Rodd, Grade 11, 826NYC
This poem uses analogies to describe all of the pieces of the writer's personal history.
by Jasmine J, 826 Valencia
A student reflects on her origins to deconstruct social borders and seize her boundless future.
by Regina, 826LA
From the forthcoming anthology, Poets in Revolt!, this poem expresses the realization that a cage is not the only obstacle to a bird's freedom.
by Jennifer Alcocer, The 826 Dallas Project
This personal narrative addresses the struggles of students graduating high school during the pandemic.
by Leydi Di Villanueva, The 826 Dallas Project
This creative narrative imagines how the coronavirus views humanity during the pandemic.
by Sylvia C., 826 Valencia
A poet demonstrates their devotion to love.
by Jason, 826michigan
Making bottle flipping look like child's play, this piece outlines rules for the new, competitive Fantasy Sport "Pencils".
by Steysi Hailee, 826LA
A student reflects on a small moment and single sacrifice that transformed her outlook on giving.
by Michaiah Anderson, The 826 Dallas Project
In this poem, a student describes their family origins with an intimate point of view
by Jazmine & Vanessa, 826CHI
Over a series of letters, two compassionate and resilient students develop a deep friendship sealed in writing.
by Luciana, Grade 10, 826 MSP
In this letter from the Essential Words lesson, a sophomore at South High School in Minneapolis gives thanks to Children’s Hospital employees.
by Jesus C., Grade 12, 826LA
A poet identifies with a trapped ocelot at the zoo.
by Vanessa Ramon-Ibarra, 826DC
Living in the digital world can create unwanted attachments, as one student laments.
by Aniah, 826 MSP
A student is lifted up by the dance of her ancestors.
by Jahruwach Hamilton, 826NYC
In this rousing poem, a student asserts her strength and worth as a woman.
by Alanis T., Age 17, 826 Boston
A student reflects on how her relationship's with her parents has influenced her life.
by Isaiah, 826 New Orleans
This student reveals the mysterious origin story of the king cake. Hint: it includes Big Freedia, DJ Chicken Wing, and a massive party.
by Savannah, 826NYC
Using dialogue and detailed description, this poet investigates whose voices are heard and whose voices are left behind when injustice occurs.
by Maria, Grade 12, 826 Boston
In this public narrative, a student makes the case for creating community change by building youth centers in her neighborhood.
Kenya G., 17, 826LA
A poet relates her experience as a queer woman in the closet to a peacock in the zoo.
by Timothy T., Age 17, 826 Valencia
A student tells the story of how his family has influenced his life.
by Jazlyn Moses, 826 National
One student explores their online persona and the lasting importance of conscientious social media practices.
by Reuben & Giselle, 826CHI
Two students write to each other about where they came from, what they love, and a few mishaps along the way in an exchange of letters.
by Jesus Sanchez, The 826 Dallas Project
This creative short horror piece explores the mysteries and danger of a night in the woods.
by Elizabeth W, 826 Valencia
Even though we may look different, we remain united with one another.
by Charles, 826 MSP
A student reflects on his life, stemming from the life of his father.
by Elsy M.E., Grade 11, 826 Valencia
A poet imagines a better and more harmonious world.
by Terry Velasquez, Grade 12, The Bronx, NY
In this letter from the Essential Words lesson, a student shares gratitude for the dedication of nurses and gives “credit where credit is due.”
by Katya Torres, The 826 Dallas Project
This bilingual poem explores the harrowing story of a boy working while in school to save his mother.
by Karla M., 826LA
A poem for lovers of love and the moon.
by Karina Centeno, Grade 12, 826 Dallas Project
This poem takes an honest look at two sides of the writer's culture.
by Anonymous, Grade 8, 826 Boston
In this poem, a student reflects on identity.
by Earl Williams Jr., The 826 Dallas Project
A powerful poetic piece about the experience of being Black in America.
by Sharoya Bracey, 826NYC
In this memoir, the narrator recounts the struggle of being the bigger person in a very small space.
by Junaynah R., Grade 11, 826NYC
Full of exquisite imagery, this poem explores the idea of second chances.
by Keyshana, Grade 11, 826CHI
Black strength, beauty, and pride soar in this poem as a student discusses overcoming brutality and discrimination.
by Navayah, 826 MSP
Through redefining a label, a student reclaims a piece of their identity.
by Mariah Valenzuela, Minneapolis, MN
From the forthcoming anthology, Poets in Revolt!, this poet uses her voice to speak up for those who have been silenced in the indigenous community.
by Lukoiy V.R.G., Grade 12, Woodburn, OR
A poet speaks out as a voice for change and all those who cannot speak.
by Sarah X. Age 18, 826Boston
A rousing public narrative from an author coming to terms with their identity as a young Chinese American woman and what they represent: the community of Boston's Chinatown.
by Riti Shrestha, 826NYC
In this poem, metaphor is used to describe who the narrator is.
by Lucas Hu, 826 Boston
A poem about staying true to yourself during a challenging transition
by Anthony, 826DC
This poem gives insight to what it's like growing up Black in America.
by Ryan, Grade 12, 826 Boston
In this public narrative, a student illustrates the hardships his uncle has faced to argue for a path to citizenship.
Henry F., Grade 12, 826CHI
A trans student reflects on their desire to be male.
Yashasa Fluker, Grade 9, 826 New Orleans
A student describes the eeriness of liminal spaces.
by Henry F., Grade 12, 826CHI
In this poem, a student reflects on identity.
by Raymond A., Grade 10, 826 Boston
A bilingual poem that expresses the love of one's culture and people
by Pretty S, 826 Valencia
Peek into the mind of a student who considers artistic influences in her life.
by Yazmine-Gizelle, 826DC
This poem uses a fundamental poetry technique, repetition, to share the writer's future plans.
by Maya M., Grade 11, Newburg, OR
A student reflects on the memories they made while backpacking.
by Quardasha Mitchell, The 826 Dallas Project
In this compelling poem, the author navigates her relationship with America as a young African-American woman.
by Calvin, 826michigan
A laugh-out-loud personal narrative about a crush. Has your heart ever beat so fast it might get a speeding ticket and a $500 fine?
by Augustus Griffith Jr., 826 National
From the forthcoming anthology, Poets in Revolt!, this poem explores the aftermath and lasting impacts of school shootings.
Alex P., Grade 10, 826 National
A poem to the next president of the U.S. demanding change and advocating for transgender rights.
Amara, 826 New Orleans
An ode celebrating an important figure in this student’s life.
by Chris O., Age 15, 826 Valencia
A freshman describes their first day of school on their own.
by Franny, 826CHI
A student spins through space and a treasure trove of memories in this poem.
by Kayla, 826 Boston
This poem offers a very-real answer to "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Rosman A., age 18, 826CHI
Smells swirl about a student walking around an ice cream shop.
Virginia Walker, age 18, 826 Boston
A student writes to a grandmother she never met.
by Cristina, 826CHI
A student recounts separation with a beloved friend through a nostalgic lens.
by Oriel, 826NYC
In this poem, an echoing question strikes a chord and reveals the tragic loss held within systemic injustice.
Annasian Walters, Grade 11-12, 826NYC
A student explores gratitude and love through sharing food.
by Camille, 826LA
A student finds her wings in unexpected places in this piece about the transition to college.
by Byanna & Kayla, 826CHI
Two students across one city bond by writing letters to each other about the people they love most.
by Alexis G., Grade 11
In this narrative, the author uses vibrant language to explore their identity, in all its complexity, through different landscapes.
by Raheem, 826 New Orleans
A student compares themself to the place they live, New Orleans, as both evolve through great obstacles.
by Caroline, 826 Valencia
A student explores U.S. soccer player Megan Rapinoe’s decision to kneel in protest during the national anthem.
by Tina N., Grade 12, 826 Boston
A student describes their shark like imaginary friend.
by William, 826LA
A teen discovers the power of books to transport him to another world, and shares his excitement about becoming a published author.
by Cindy, 826LA
A student compellingly argues that immigrants deserve respect and to be free of discrimination.
by Kalyn Jackson, 826 New Orleans
Through this short story, Kalyn explores ideas of home and change in an altered world.
by Helen, Grade 12, 826 MSP
In this letter from the Essential Words lesson, a senior at South High School in Minneapolis offers words of support to healthcare workers across the country, including her own mom.
by Samantha Wint, Grade 9, 826 Valencia
This poem uses metaphors and similes to explore many dualities of the narrator's life.
by Kaleo V.C., Age 17, 826 Valencia
A student looks back on their first day of kindergarten and how they've changed.
by Rey, Grade 9, 826 MSP
Aliens give this student superpowers to help him fulfill his greatest dream.
by Mercury, 826CHI
A student explores the representation of LGBTQIA+ minorities and youth in US pop culture.
by Numan Khan, age 16, 826 Boston
A bilingual "I am" poem filled with conviction and courage.
by Julianna Cruz, 826 Dallas Project
This narrative piece contemplates the struggle of immigrants during the pandemic.
by Anjum, 826CHI
A shout-out poem to some things missed (Hyderabad) and celebrated (Mom).
by Pia, 826NYC
A student reimagines food justice: Fruit Woman must convince Junk Food Man and Cheesecake Boy to eat their fruits and vegetables.
by Sally Phan, 826 Boston
A memoir that questions the idea of home and how it changes with time.
by Fahima Dahir, 826 MSP
A poem about the strength and limitations of language and shared culture.
by Jordan, 826 New Orleans
Crawfish, crayfish, or mudbugs. Whatever you call them, the writer of this poem doesn't like them.
by George S., Grade 11, 826 Boston
A writer implores people to get outside and touch grass because you never know what you might find!
by Christian Z., Age 14, 826 Valencia
A poet recounts his day out at the Yerba Buena Gardens.
by Kailyn Espinosa, 826NYC
In this letter from the Essential Words lesson, a student shares how essential workers’ courage and compassion center her during these hectic times.
by Justis Porter, age 16, 826 Boston
A neighborhood ode filled with sights and sounds of the poet's street.
by Sabrin, Grade 9, 826 MSP
In this letter from the Essential Words lesson, 9th grader Sabrin discusses how she feels both happy and sad, and thanks nurses nationwide for bringing her peace through their work.
by Kayla Wayne, Grade 11, 826NYC
In this poem, a student reflects on their first encounter with forced assimilation.
by Maggie Munday Odom, Kailua, HI
This poem personifies Earth as a mother coping with the brutalities of climate change.
by Sabrin, 826 MSP
The written word is a powerful tool, and this poem shares a few reasons why the author continues to write.
by Gisel J., 826LA
The power of public speaking shines through this student's memoir.
by Joanne H, 826 Valencia
In this poem, a student’s experiences in two countries meld together as she seeks out her true home.
by Sarah X., Grade 12, 826 Boston
A student shares how they've uplifted their community.
by David & Daniel, 826CHI
In this heartfelt exchange of letters, two students bond over food, videos games, and some scary adventures.
by Abby S., Grade 11, 826 Boston
An author reflects on their correspondence with their friend from the past.
by Jizelle Villegas, Grade 12, 826 Dallas Project
The stunning and vulnerable poem processes feelings of loss, grief, and hope for the future.
Yamilet J., 826LA
A student reflects on the fear and wonder of becoming a mother.
by Brandon R., 826LA
A student recounts the epic highs and lows of high school track and cross country.
by Corazón, 826 New Orleans
In this essay, a student threads their identity across cultures, histories, and places, engaging with legacies of violence and the movement of people.
by Albin C., Age 18, 826 Boston
A student recalls how he was able to take charge and turn his life around.
by Terra C., Grades 10-11, 826NYC
A student recalls their journey on how they discovered their LGBTQIA+ identity.
by Kyla Edwards, 826 New Orleans
This creative short story explores a snapshot of what a future New Orleans might look like amid climate change.
by Kevin G, 826 Valencia
This narrative calls us to see the world through the perspectives of others.
by Salma Khalif, 826 MSP
A powerful poem that lifts up Black women.
by Colin Y., Age 17, 826 Valencia
A student describes how volunteering saved him from his online prison.
by Jeremy Hsiao, 826 National
From the forthcoming anthology, Poets in Revolt!, this poem reminds activists that "to change everything, we need everyone."
by Shayne Williams
Discover what one student experiences when they tuck their phone away for a whole day.
by Johnny Vasquez, 826 MSP
A family interview reveals a mother's painful past and shines a light on her persistence.
by Jonas K., 826 National
A student explores the paradox of how technology is used amongst teenagers.
by Sammie, Grade 9, 826 MSP
In this letter from the Essential Words lesson, a freshman at South High School in Minneapolis thanks care workers for supporting our local and national communities during this global pandemic.
by Christopher, Bryan, & Jahir, 826CHI
In an exchange of letters, three students across one city share stories about where they came from and the places that matter most.
Cate H, Grade 12, 826CHI
A poet sets the stage to showcase her reflections on being trans.
by Isabella, 826NYC
This poet rejects judgement based on the color of one’s skin.
by Sergio M, 826 Valencia
This piece reminds us that a smile is not always what it seems.
by Lisbeth M.F., 826NYC
A story about how Marcus becomes Marcela.
by Ryker, 826michigan
Liner notes that showcase the meaning and musicality of the Jimmy Ruffin song “What Becomes of the Brokenhearted.”
by Henry, Matthew, & Santiago, 826CHI
A compilation of letters written by three students across one city filled with thoughts on books, sports, music, family, and musings on Valentine’s Day.
by Matthew Inoa, 826 NYC
In this letter from the Essential Words lesson, a student describes how essential workers are the pulse of New York, fueling the city’s hope.
by Tammy Fong, 826NYC
A soccer-filled, feud-fueled memoir.
by Soraya, 826NYC
This student’s powerful piece reveals the essence of racial injustice.
by Izzy T., 826 Valencia
A student reflects on memories of home and what binds her special community together.
by Gilbert, 826LA
One teen writes a letter to his 14-year-old self, citing his past fears but looking towards his present, a brighter future.
by Aphra, 826CHI
A student considers realistic happy endings and the representation of LGBTQIA+ youth through the analysis of two webcomics.
by Melody Marcano, 826 Boston
In this poem, a student reflects on their roots and their desire to grow.
by Tala, Grade 10, 826 MSP
In this letter from the Essential Words lesson, 10th grader Tala asks essential workers what motivates them to keep going during these difficult times, offering her own views on hope for the future.
by Sian Laing
When Instagram becomes an unsightly battlefield.
by Nhu N., Grade 12, 826 Boston
A young writer reconciles their sexuality with the beliefs of their community.
by Samuel Wang, Grade 10, 826NYC
A poem about the complexity of love exchanged during the holidays.
by Arianna R., Grade 11, 826 Boston
A beautiful ode to home and self.